We have this unwritten rule that men should pay for the first dates, or even most of the dates. But do men really have to pay on the first date at least? Is chivalry dead for modern-day men, as what most women claim to be? However, whether or not a man should for the first date is still a subject of a heated debate these days as many people, of course especially women, claim that paying for the first dinner is a chivalrous gesture.
There have been several unwritten rules supporting this unwritten rule. Does a guy really have to pay for a first date? Questions like this still left many people confused and sometimes put people in an awkward situation. Because different cultures have different take on this issue, the safest way to interpret or answer it is to base it on the culture where one belongs.
Invitee gets the bill
One of the most common and general rules that operate on this is the rule, which states that whoever invited who, gets to pay for the first date. This could have originated from the fact that it is men who usually invite ladies on a date so it?s just customary for men to pay for the first date.
This could be very fitting decades ago when men oftentimes initiate the invite. However, since there are women who initiates dates these dates, it would not come as surprise seeing lots of women also paying for the meals of their dates.
Relationship is all about who dominates and who?s the subordinate including in dating relationship. Even during the first date, both men and women struggle to dominate the relationship by either owning to pay the bill or having someone to pay the bill. The most intriguing part of it is that they do it unconsciously and without even noticing that they are struggling for something that they don?t even know that?s even existing.
In order to avoid being in this rather awkward situation, the two should establish the concept of exclusivity so as both parties will no longer feel the that awkward feeling of guilt and debt of gratitude for having someone pay for their meal. Once the exclusivity issue has already been settled, knowing who?s going to pay the next meal will no longer be a big issue.
Talk about it
There?s no better way of solving this situation other than talking it among yourselves. Discussing the financial arrangement like adults is not a sign of immaturity or selfishness; instead, it?s a sign that you two have grown much closer and more comfortable with each other because you were able to open up this rather awkward situation among yourselves in a mature manner.
This way, you can devise plans and arrangements on how you will going to work on your finances, especially when you are going out together. This is very important if the two of you are almost penniless and just relying on your parents for allowance. For working couple, it?s also a good sign that you?re mature enough to talk about this rather awkward situation without the necessary awkwardness.